tender moments

between a girl and her baby






one of my favorite things... peeking from the edge of child's play. when imagination engulfs them, not a person or thing in the world to distract their senses

“A person's maturity consists in having found again the seriousness one had as a child, at play”
Friedrich Nietzsche

STOP...DON'T!!!

i presented on the subject of assertiveness at a training for district employees this week.

often we find ourselves being passive or aggressive with children, but not assertive. assertiveness focuses on what we want children to do . sounds easy, right?

the problem is that we have a deeply ingrained habit of focusing on behaviors we don't want...

STOP talking, jumping, running, hitting... DON'T touch the stove, lamp, outlets, or fine china!

an interesting fact about brain development... children under the age of 6 cannot conjugate the word don't.

what might they hear then when we yell "DON'T RUN IN THE HOUSE!"
yep, you guessed it.

you might be interested to know that children under the age of 8 encode information in the form of pictures. when we tell them what to do we provide visual images of our expectations, making it easier for them to process & more likely to obey.

my encouragement today is that we start focusing on what we want children to do. a practical way to exercise this skill is to fill in the following statement...

"my child irritates me when they _____. what do i want them to do?"

instead of...

DON'T run!.. go back and walk
DON'T stand up in your chair!... sit down on your bottom and put your legs under the table.
STOP yelling!!... you are screaming (describing their behavior makes connections in the brain) make your voice match mine, just like this...

we have perfected this DON'T/ STOP language, haven't we?

i would submit to you that if we begin telling children, in specific terms, what we expect them to do we will experience desirable results!

finally, we cannot train our children to possess skills that we lack.

as women, we struggle with assertiveness don't we?

where do you want to go to lunch?
i don't care...where do you want to go to lunch?
you decide....i can't decide. where do you want to go?
wherever is fine with me.

oh, you want to go there?
i don't really like ___.
can we pick someplace else?
is that okay???

sound familiar?
i thought so.

we often think expressing our feelings or opinions is confrontational, in some way uncomfortable ...and heaven forbid we differ from one another.

join me on my journey to becoming this kind of woman, wife, mother, friend... the kind who isn't afraid of her own voice.

for starters, here is your homework:
1. practice turning your DON'Ts into DO's
2. be courageous - pick a restaurant.

here are a few videos of assertiveness..
the first one is the twinks. the next is of 4-year-olds resolving conflict. you will notice them setting limits, saying what they want the other person to do, and making commitments. (more on commitments next week!)

**you will have to pause the music in my side bar to hear the video **

suffering: a great mystery

recent events in the lives of others have had me thinking.
sometimes pondering, other times wrestling...

the great mystery of suffering

the question is not if we will suffer but when. there seems to be a correlation anyway... years lived & the suffering one has endured.

just the other day a friend & i batted this subject around as we drove away from baby kaiya's funeral.

half joking but mostly serious, we gave God permission to allow suffering into certain parts of our lives.

You can touch our finances, just not our families.
i'll suffer anything but them. not them, Lord.

have you found yourself in this position before God?

and what if... just what if?

if you're like me, you cannot bear to ask the question. a lump creeps tightly up my throat - tears stinging, if i entertain the thought for more than 3 seconds.

suffering will come.
what shape it will take in our lives is yet to be realized.
but it will come. what will become of us?
will i choose to trust God & believe that He is good?

during our season of infertility i sensed God asking me this question...

Andrea, do you trust Me & believe that I am good?

somedays i did...
a lot of days i didn't

i am challenged today by this post, eat mystery.

despite loss after loss, john believed in the God who sees, the God who knows....and the God that is always good.

Lord, grow my mustard seed faith. make me like the tree whose roots are firmly planted, whose leaves do not wither when the heat comes.



"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD.

For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit."

jeremiah 17:7-8

what is it about monograms?

everybody, including me, loves labeling names... from burp cloths, sippie cups, backpacks, luggage tags, dinnerware, stationary and everything in between. one of my dear friends even considered buying a monogramming machine not that long ago.

why?
1. people love monograms
2. why not?

well, lots of reasons but back to the point... monograms are timeless & personal gifts for all to enjoy.

lucky for you, i know just where to order your beautifully penned names for gifts & stationary this season...

here is my incredibly funny & beyond generous friend, erin...



and just because it wouldn't be a true-to-life picture of our friendship without a silly face...


she just sent me this stamp in the mail... only with a P.



if you're thinking, and i know that you are... that's the cutest gift ever, i have to have one! check out three designing women, a must-see website...

or you can browse & shop at the paper clique, the letter tree or the pinchy crab.

enjoy perusing & happy holiday shopping!

multitude monday

can you feel thanksgiving in the air?

fall being my favorite season makes it easy to keep counting ... every turn meets me with something Grace-given.

my cup runneth over.

speaking of .. i'm thankful for red cups at starbucks... one of the first clues we texans have that christmas is fast approaching.

the changing of the leaves...even if it is from green to various shades of mostly brown.



for unique snuggles that come my way when nursing sick tummies & fickle fevers


gentle nudges of tiny elbows and knees tucked tightly in our bed. one day i won't hear their small breaths in my ear at 3 am

berkley beckoning, "big kiss! bigger kiss!"


simple games provoking endless laughter



sun beams at dusk & how they make the lovely even more beautiful





ryan's strong presence & example of manhood

the way little hands hold tightly to adult pinkys

catching smiles when he thinks no one is looking


that Creator God can be seen in the grains of a tree




how fun can be captured in one's finger nails


treasured moments with treasured people



words cannot express my thanks

for "1st grade smiles", as my friend calls them


little girl day dreams


will you count with me?

i've got this, God.

the day i learned of this tragedy (a family of five being killed in a car accident) was just one of those days...weeks really. the kind you feel powerless as a mother. the kind where all you can say is, "Jesus, help me."

can i be honest?

there are several areas of life i think i can do without His help. if you know me well, you've heard me say it before. if you don't... then welcome to my closet - the place where dark corners so desperately need His light! God has gifted me in such a way, with skills in certain areas, that i often live independently of Him & "get by".... in the classroom, in leadership positions at work or in ministry, in important relationships... you get the picture.

this of course is a fallacy...
oh, the sin & folly of self-reliance.

"i've got this, God."

and then i became a mother.

i have always said that parenthood is the crucified life...
the call requires dying to self & all of those self-centered, self-reliant, self-exalting tendencies that i am so good at.

dependent on Him, supplied with His strength, living by faith... moment by moment.

..."and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." galatians 2:20

i don't have it at all. i need God. desperately.

this call of motherhood reminds me...
every day
every tantrum
stomach virus
pile of laundry
or sippie cup filled with curdled milk
i need God.

He has been teaching me most through a certain son that i love. davis - full of heart... an equal amount of spirit.


who me?

a few days ago i stumbled upon our day care's monthly newsletter. curious about toddler happenings i began to read...

"___ is working hard at potty training. ___ loves the home center. ____ vocabulary has exploded. ____ loves the block center. ____ builds houses & forts. ____ is a leader. ___ is always eager to help."

drumroll please

" and davis has improved quite a bit on his social skills."

"that's great!" you might say.
all kids need to improve social skills, right?
in fact, that is what i do for a living (at home & at work)
...help children to develop their social skills.

but i'll let you in on a dirty little secret...
this is teacher code for "davis has behavior concerns."

thankfully, i too, speak teacher code & do not take offense.
i know this to be true of davis, son that i love...
son that i learn from.
do i wish it wasn't announced in a school-wide publication? absolutely.
has God used it to strengthen dependence, deepen humility, & widen my sense of humor? most definitely.

thank you, Lord, for reminding me that i can do nothing apart from you. and thank you for the gift of motherhood... that which makes us lowly when we begin to believe otherwise.

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. john 15:5

a multitude, indeed

it's not monday but i figure it's never too late to give thanks.
several weeks have passed since His gifts have spilled onto my keyboard. two difficult weeks in many ways...

a few saturdays ago we drove... windows down, breathing in the crisp fall air, sun beams illuminating two toddlers as their sing-song laughter rang out loud. (all of the above mentioned things swelling my heart with thanks). and just like that.... it could have happened.

they could have been gone.
we all could have been gone.

days earlier, this hypothetical tragedy was a devastating reality for a family of five.

a man & his wife, their three small children, all under the age of 7. the girls were students at my school...each attended our Head Start program over the last few years.

just this morning i attended a grave side service for a newborn baby named kaiya. her twin sister, kaidyn, is in the NICU fighting to live. in the words of the pastor, may our prayers storm the throne of grace on behalf of baby kaidyn. thank you for remembering the walkers in prayer as you give thanks today.

... just like that, the sun beams are brighter, the air a bit crisper, the songs and squeals of children even more precious...

why does it take suffering to embrace the ordinary?

The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; or is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us...
acts 17:24-27

may we find Him in the ordinary today

with a thankful heart

sneak peak

here's two more reasons i love halloween


3 if you include the cotton candy :)



more coming soon! ... and a multitude of thanks, although it will probably be "thankful tuesday" instead of multitude monday

multitude monday

it's that time again... time to reflect on His graces in my life. an attitude of thankfulness takes practice so i plan to revisit this list of ways to live a life of praise.

counting on...


i'm grateful for how little eyes absorb the world around them... looking to discover something new... and almost always filled with wonder. they see Glory in things we dismissed long ago: rolly-pollies, hunting for acorns, or a cyclist peddling by...


A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
~Bill Vaughan

how pumpkins can be for climbing


sharing the joy in children's first-time experiences




the process of little people creating beauty when given the opportunity to do so



Good art is not what it looks like, but what it does to us.- Roy Adzak


Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up. ~ Picasso



little hands at work (play)


that children are uninhibited... careless to how they might appear to others

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

the smell of marshmallows ablaze


that smearing them on a simple graham cracker = pure delight


join me in the journey to a thankful heart

pUmPkIn PaRtY

we had a pumpkin party this weekend for the twinks and their tiny tot friends. weeks of rain cleared & beautiful fall weather arrived just in time. dozens of little people enjoyed painting & hammering pumpkins, chocolate chip pumpkin muffins and goodie bags while their parents enjoyed socializing over chili-dogs and college football. grab your popcorn and enjoy the pictures!

some pictures speak for themselves

national day of miscarriage & infant loss

taking a moment to honor this day & the little lives remembered throughout the world.

today i remember & give thanks for our first baby, miscarried at 8 weeks...and dozens of dear friends who have painfully endured similar sufferings.

...some losses very early, some at 22 weeks and beyond

i remember it well- first infertility, then loss.
sorrow upon sorrow.

familiar with the cry of the psalmist ...

i am weary with my sighing; every night i make my bed swim, dissolving my couch with my tears. psalm 6:6

and yet He was ever present...the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 1 cor. 1:4

He knew our suffering intimately.
He bore it on that life-giving tree.

and He knew that those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting.
psalm 126:5



praying His comfort & joy for all who make their bed with tears today.

the ugly-beautiful

from long before the era of She-ra, the princess of power, i wanted to be beautiful. long flowing waves of blonde hair with sculpted cheek bones. at the young age of 9, i already knew that beauty was a cultural value.

just last night we enjoyed dinner at a local pizza place. the twinks were admiring a nearby video game when something caught my eye....two scantily clad, well-endowed cartoon characters.

really?

a children's video game in a family-friendly restaurant... communicating value to my two year old children.

and yet do i not still struggle, 23 years later, with this idea of beauty... wishing my smile lines were less noticeable, my eyes more symmetrical, daily longing for my pre-mommy figure. truth be told, i was never all that satisfied with that one either.

have i not already found myself imposing such values on my dear daughter? perfectly coordinated clothing with well placed bows.

now i am not suggesting these things are harmful. they are, in fact, neutral. but what is my heart in the matter? am i protecting my daughter, pointing her to True Beauty or handing down to her a neatly packaged box of lies?

God give me the grace & wisdom to point her eyes upward...even while inserting colorful bows!



i am so thankful for Dove's campaign for real beauty & videos such as this one. perhaps, the next generation will better understand how deeply deceived we are as a society.

Love took the ugly, put mud on its eyes, and worked it slowly into blazing beauty.

The French have a phrase for it: d’un beau affreux; in German, hubsch-hasslich. The ugly-beautiful. That which is perceived as ugly reconfigures as beautiful. The impressionist painter, Paul Gauguin, encapsulated it as, “Le laid peut-etre beau…” The ugly can be beautiful.

please take the time to read this entry on the the ugly-beautiful. it will challenge your quest for beauty & move you to see that the ugly can be made beautiful.

He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
isaiah 53:2-5

read more about the ugly-beautiful by clicking here

multitude monday

fall is here, at least for a few days anyway...the sight of pumpkins and smell of spiced lattes remind me of why this is my favorite time of the year. so many things to love and give thanks for as we move each day closer to the season of Advent.

and so begins my one thousand gifts challenge. i love lists, especially marking each item off, one by one- giving a sense of productivity... as if being productive is of utmost importance.

insert tangent here: ryan and i did manage to clean our hazardous waste zone this weekend (otherwise known as a garage) - scratching it off the list a mere 14 months later

back to the multitude... when i think about the people in my life that exude joy and contentment, they all possess a spirit of thankfulness. gossip and complaining are quite difficult to do if i am giving thanks. judging the behaviors or intent of others is near impossible if i am instead thankful for them.

how easily we thank God for our family, friends, and material comforts. but do i notice Him in the smaller things of life? why are certain things less praiseworthy ... is He not the Creator of all things, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible? (colossians 1:16)

here is to a thousand gifts & a thankful heart....

click on the button below to join me in the journey



these three are at the top of my list


and drizzly days wrapped in fuzzy blankets


big hugs from little people


and stealing away quiet moments together

what's missing from this picture?

the beauty of ceremony

did you know the brain is both pattern seeking and survival oriented?

most of us love order & predictable routines. when a young brain is provided a safe & structured environment, it develops a biochemical preference toward order. the same is true for the brain exposed to chaos... it learns and therefore creates chaos as a means for coping.

the wonderful news is that we can help children develop neural pathways through creating routines & ceremonies within our homes!

This atmosphere of known routine, expected ritual and, yes, celebrated ceremony, not only lessens the number of decisions that a parent must make throughout the day (the established ceremony directs, instead of the parent), but children thrive in such an environment....

...The institution of a ceremonious life requires daily petitions for God-strength; in the flesh we are too weak. But the mundane in our lives begs for the Christ-vigor to be made lovely with ceremony. The repetition of our days need not be monotonous, exasperating, recurrences....

i love this article & how God acts in ceremony with us each day!

read more about the beauty of ceremony by clicking here (this is one of my new favorite sites btw)

"They always say, "Do it again"… [It is] grown-up people [who] are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon…. The repetition in nature may not be mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore."

amazing grace

i’m studying Ephesians this semester…it’s as if i’m seeing old truths with new eyes. i could make a list of the riches we have in Christ but my fresh understanding simply levels me.

what a wonderful mystery…

Ephesians 2:8-10
For grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, so that no one may boast.

how badly we want to earn favor with God… if i just (fill in the blank) or abstain from (fill in the blank). perhaps my shortcomings are not as bad as his/hers. certainly i can do enough good in this life to outweigh the bad.

despite our human condition (Ephesians 2: 1-3) … He, being RICH in MERCY, and because of His GREAT LOVE, saved us.

not because we regularly attend church, give to the Red Cross, or drink only in moderation. For GRACE we have been saved through FAITH, and this is not of ourselves.

beyond that vs. 10 goes on to say we are His workmanship, created for good works...

we are HIS workmanship …

He is the workman
we are HIS work

as Christians, even the good that we do isn't our work at all. it has been laid out for us and grace alone allows us to participate.

how refreshing. and beyond humbling.

thank you, LORD, for amazing grace & that we will never fully understand it's mystery!

visit with pop and dee dee

my dad & his wife came for a visit this weekend. it was a great time, despite little d wearing the full effects of a 20 minute nap. in between screaming & crying episodes, he managed to get in a few swings at the old golf ball. not sure who had more fun, davis or my dad.







geared up for the game...poor aggies!


thanks for the wonderful weekend pops ...and special thanks to deirdre (dee dee) for mowing our entire front and back yard while we went to a birthday party! instead of embracing her first chance of peace and quiet, she found the lawnmower and went to town. thanks so much for the very kind gesture!

just because

we're going on a bear hunt

i took the twinks on their 3rd annual bear hunt last week.



berkley with my student teacher, vicki


SO BIG!





feeding the ducks


...and just for fun...

1st bear hunt at 4 months old


15 months


and now

remember when...

cause i don't

i barely recognize those snuggly balls of baby.
and i truly don't remember them sleeping, much less at the same time.

this picture was taken just moments before two beyond grateful, yet blissfully ignorant new parents left the hospital for the real world of twinfants.

"if one more person tells us this will all be a blur..." we repeated several times a day.

"how can people say we will forget, this is completely unforgettable?!"

i remember typing those very words in a desperate-new-mommy email to my super-hero mommy friends. i was puzzled by what appeared to be an epidemic of mommy-amnesia.

"you forget", everyone assured me. i just knew we were the exception to this rule.

some friends of ours are expecting boy/ girl twins next month. we are so grateful to the Lord for His loving kindness and look forward to celebrating their arrival.

and chances are, we'll be passing on those famous, often annoying words..."this will all be a blur".



we pulled out the baby gear for our expectant friends so i had to snap a comparison pic.

biting hurts

so i have another nugget of gold for you today! we will revisit the skill of assertiveness but begin first with composure.

would you agree that before any problem solving can take place (or prefrontal lobe skills we might say), we have to be willing or ready??

think of the last time you had marital conflict... if your husband is like mine, he is the far more mature party in the relationship and seeks to resolve conflict quickly. short accounts are the name of the game.

i, on the other hand, am often less willing. i enjoy wallowing a bit longer in my lymbic system, or emotional state. i'm sure i'm the only female with this struggle, so feel free to just keep reading.

often times we engage with our spouses or children before their brains are even ready. becky bailey, the founder of conscious discipline® , says it is like reasoning with a frog. our children only have access to certain skills while in their brain stem or lymbic system, and problem solving is not one of them.

we often attempt to make children feel bad for their behaviors in an effort to motivate new ones. interestingly, this is not how the brain works. it cannot simultaneously feel bad (or under threat) and learn a new skill. the goal is teaching young children new skills, primarily the skill of self-regulation. this is not to say that there are not consequences for behaviors. consequences are a necessary part of developing the desired skill.

my encouragement is for us to begin focusing more on developing the skills, modeling the language we refer to as "using your words", and then imposing the consequences. after teaching, modeling & practicing the skills, consequences have their proper place.

now that i have rambled on... remember to visit this site for more resources or feel free to email me any questions.




ps... i forgot to warn you that just minutes before this video was taken i had been folding laundry.... just in case you were wondering why berkley is wearing her brother's cookie monster underwear!

houston, we've made contact!

this weekend was our first trip to houston as a family of four! ryan had his leader retreat in town, which we were both speaking at it. since my mom comes to college station for visits, it was the first time to be in my hometown since my high school reunion!

we had a great visit with my mom & brother...and even met a few four legged friends at the zoo!

i made the mistake of telling the twinks about the zoo on thursday night.

will NEVER do that again.

at bedtime, berkley cried hysterically for the "aminals"...
"NO, night night mommy!!! go see monkeys!!!
go see nakes (snakes)!!! go see elephants!!!
mommy, NOOOOOOOOO".

BIG mistake.

a wise friend counseled me to tell them only once we're in the car or airplane from now on until forever.

in their excitement to see the "aminals", they boycotted their naps all together. when i went into their room (for the 3rd time) berkley proudly announced,

"i woke up, mommy!"

"you never went to sleep, berkley." i explained
(unsuccessfully holding back laughter)

so off we went, with two very sleep-deprived but overjoyed toddlers.

and lots of fun was had by all!

can't help smiling

this boy infects laughter. he really is quite funny in an irresistibly goofy way! see pictures below for proof.

davis has come into his own over the last several months. my once timid boy, resembling more of an appendage, has become quite the socialite.

it is not unusual for him to announce to complete strangers, "i tt potty!... i'm the man!"

like the time we had a roofing company at the house after a hail storm. davis confidently walks up to the roofer exclaiming, "hi man (his name for all adult males)... i tt potty!"
the roofer, understandably confused, stared back at davis. he then announced even more emphatically, "i tt potty, man!"

just last week he strolled into the office of our executive pastor to yell, "Gig Em AGGIES!" with his index finger extended high in the air. (he hasn't quite gotten the thumb part down, which i'm sure is an aggie joke in itself). wonderful pastor that he is, could have been solving a theological debate through a hebrew word study, but looked up with sheer enthusiasm to engage with davis. what i should also mention is buck, our pastor, moonlights as an ASF (aggie sports fanatic). "Gig em Aggies" was sweet music to his ears!

here is our sweet boy, oozing his boyish charm

look whose growing up

silly post-church photo shoot today



berk going in for a smooch



davis is saying "cheeeeeese". i love berk's sweet smile in this pic...


and i love his smile in this one!


making each other laugh


mommy & her love bugs

puppy love

no, we didn't buy a new puppy. we're not quite ready for one but what a day that will be since the twinks madly adore dogs. berkley has become quite a fan of pretend play... only instead of pretending to cook or clean or change her babies like she use to, she is a puppy. this means crawling on all fours and panting loudly.... like today in Target. i had to explain that puppies are not allowed in the store. "no puppies in Target?" she asked as she resumed her upright position. yep, no puppies in Target.

a few weeks ago she was in her car seat, gently cupping her hands together. "awww, puppy", she said softly, while petting the air. she then took her sippie cup and began feeding her imaginary friend. such a responsible dog owner.

i realize i have typed these words several times before and each time i really mean them but "THIS is my favorite age so far!" i dreaded two years old..."terrible twos" people love to say. i have worked with 2 year olds, and enjoyed very little of the experience. but i've been pleasantly surprised by the fun and wonder of this stage. their tiny brains retain information by the day, that comes out in the form of new words and adult like sentences! i laugh constantly ... hearing them process the world and watching them take pleasure in it! God help me to take mental snapshots that won't fade.

my hope is to get back to documenting our life with twins... i spend all my spare time enjoying them, that i have neglected to post as often. here's to capturing the moments and sharing them more often with you!

Connections

for those who asked...

would you agree that we all want to be connected? we were created with a deep desire to be seen, known & valued by others. this longing to connect begins at birth.

early brain development is contingent on our connections with others, particularly our care givers. connections established through eye contact, physical touch and presence in a playful situation have a direct impact on our neurological connections. although most of the brain's cells are formed before birth, most of the connections among cells are made during infancy and early childhood. at times during brain development, 250,000 neurons are added every minute! as we intentionally connect with our children and encourage their connections with others, important development is taking place.

one of the ways we try to build eye contact, touch and presence in a playful situation is through activities called "I love you rituals". you can sing any nursery rhyme, poem or even your own song... just implement touch and eye contact and wa-la! to learn more about I love You rituals and Conscious Discipline®, click here.

here are a few videos of the twinks doing I love rituals, as well as my students. the babies were just around a year old during the clips.
*** you will need to pause the music on the upper right side of the blog***

connections with mommy



connections with one another
warning: i am without a voice (sick), ryan is without a shirt :)



connections with students



have fun integrating those little brains!

teaching assertiveness

an important life skill for children and adults is knowing how to be assertive, not passive, aggressive or often in my case...passive aggressive :) without developing this skill, we attempt to control behavior through fear, physical aggression or a more subtle control that may be more familiar to you... emotional manipulation. we wonder why we have a society of people who either avoid conflict out of fear or become intoxicated by it. i am learning through life experiences and difficult relationships to be assertive... how to express my feelings, expectations and disappointments in an honest, yet composed way. it feels good. it does good. it may not always have the result that i hope for, but i'm a healthier person because of it.

i desperately need God's grace and wisdom as i attempt to teach our children appropriate assertiveness. it is a learned skill and therefore must be developed through practice. this means giving them the words to say when they feel infringed upon.

would you agree that we are quick to give attention to the "aggressor"?
"why did you do that? you know the rule about hitting!!! go sit in time out."

now i am not arguing against time out in this ramble (maybe another time) but how often do we empower the victim in a given situation and then teach new skills to an aggressor? my encouragement is that we begin doing so. not only will we have children who can learn to set appropriate boundaries, we teach children the necessary behaviors to express their needs or wants. win - win, i'd say!

end of tangent... roll the video.
here is a really funny clip of davis practicing his assertive voice. i have used this clip in my trainings with district employees.

ps..you will have to pause the music on my side bar before playing the video

like father, like son

off to school

here are some pictures from davis and berkley's first day at their new school. they've been at gigi's house since they were 9 weeks old, so it has been an interesting transition. thankfully, the twinks have done great! they seem to really enjoy themselves, are napping without pacifiers and going to the potty!





berkley said, "cheese, tree"...translation: smile by the tree


they were so brave...me, not so much!


checking out the scene


they walked right in like they own the place.

hi, my name is berkley...

and i am a shoeaholic

sacked out

ps...for any concerned readers (papa) :) davis is not suffocating in this picture... he apparently enjoys putting the pillow over his head while he sleeps.

party at the polters

in july we enjoyed a few days with the polters. the babies loved getting to spend time with robbin, david, mariel and ezra. i was robbin's "baby", her babies were "my babies" and so on it goes...

funny story... when berkley first walked into the house, her exact words were..."OH, WOW!" i wish i had a picture of robbin's house to show you what an appropriate response this was! robbin is an incredibly talented artist and every square inch of her house celebrates art from cultures around the world! it is better than any museum i have visited. berkley had it right with, "OH, WOW!!!!!"

we spent most of our time in the gigantic inflatable pool...


having fun with chalk


and paint


and "honey" the golden retriever..


this truly was their favorite activity...


laughing at aunt robbin's birds


a lot


best lookin spidey EVER


enjoying breakfast and a trip to the park


thanks for a great visit, polter fam!
we loved spending time with you.

count em.... 1,2,3,4,5,6, SEVEN!

i'm alive...and shamefully attempting to update our blog after a month long hiatus. to be honest, i have just enjoyed every minute of my summer time with the twinks (minus the potty training ones), leaving very little time left to upload, edit and post to the blog. so i'll attempt to catch you up in the form of pictures (which are far easier to share on facebook, by the way...in case you too are a FB addict)

on july 13th ryan and i celebrated our 7th anniversary. it's hard to believe we have already been married 7 years! not sure what this "itch" is that everyone keeps referring to and i pray we never suffer from it! every year we come up with 3 words to describe our marriage that year. for me, this last year was refreshing, humbling and fun! i feel refreshed as God continues to grow us both independently and together as husband and wife/ father and mother.... i feel humbled as we explore the learning curve of young parenting. finally, i've had lots of fun despite our stumbling through most of the process together.

i am beyond grateful to the Lord for the gift of ryan's love, service, friendship and leadership..

4th of july festivities

meeting friends for a photography tutorial in just a bit but have time for a quick sneak peak. we had a wonderful weekend with friends, cooling off in the guadalupe river, feeding dolphins, splashing at the sea world water park, and much more! thanks to our sweet friends, tim & rachel, for a super fun fourth of july weekend!







ps... one month has already passed since the twinks turned two. slow it down already! i am also happy to report that i am graduating from potty talk now that BOTH babies are officially trained & accident free, for the most part. (praise the LORD!) who knew how many conversations about bodily waste could be had?

hide and seek

is a favorite game at our house. davis loves saying, " air (where) davis go?" as he hides under our sheets. then he'll scream "peek a boo!" or "there is!"

we love our dress up box!

two is better than one

happy birthday sweet asher

we love you little asher, and your mommy & daddy too!
here they are enjoying his new sand/ water table.




the birthday boy!

adrenaline junkie

berkley has discovered she loves jumping into the pool and sliding down water slides. over and over and over again.

the versatility of a simple sack

left over grocery sacks sure come in handy while potty training... to disguise the potty seat wherever we go (restaurants, the museum, park, mall, you name it)... as well as for soiled clothes. i am happy to report that today was the first day for davis to be accident free! slow and steady does it.

potty training boot camp

last week we started our first attempt at potty training the twinks.

why? you might ask.

well, a few reasons...

1. why not?

2. $100 savings a month is a steal

3. i have the summer off to let them run buck naked

like many other areas of parenting, potty training is one that solicits a multitude of opinions, dogmatic opinions, i might add. one camp says they must be "ready" showing signs such as: has dry periods for 3-4 hours, is interested in bathroom habits, acknowledges when they have dirty diapers, etc. the other camp argues that 92% of 18 months old were potty trained in the 1950s, suggesting the skill has more to do with commitment to training than child readiness.
read all about the debate here

since people have asked... here is the method i attempted.
click here to read about potty training in 3 days it's important to note that the more intensive training lasts 3 days but the skill itself is mastered over time.

i began our training hopeful, but realistic... fully expecting a false start. but if you know me, i am stubbornly determined to accomplish any good challenge. and so began potty boot camp.

step one: roll up the pottery barn rugs and store them for several weeks

step two: stack piles of clean towels and disinfecting supplies closely nearby

step three: remove all articles of babies clothing for several days

step four: provide endless supplies of salty snacks and liquids



step five: watch, stare, obsess and wait for signs of an inevitable accident. quickly whisk them to the nearest toilet when said accident occurs.



step six: repeat step five over and over again.



step seven: sit babies on the toilet at regular intervals, providing potty toys and books to help combat possible resistance.




step eight: in between trips to the toilet stay busy by painting toddler toes, watching CARS enough to make you crazy, making brownie mix, playing hide and seek, water color painting or cooling off outside.









step nine: when an accident occurs, babies help in the clean up process

step ten: babies practice saying "TT potty" and running to the nearest toilet multiple times.

step eleven: repeat step ten more times than you want to count

step twelve: celebrate successes with a piece of candy, stickers, blow horns, potty dances or all of the above.





step thirteen: introduce big boy/ girl undies to wear for outings. berkley liked davis's CAR underwear so much, she had to try them on for size.



....and if this wasn't the longest potty post in blog posting history i would repeat a step in between them all: pray

one of the most helpful tips i heard from friends was to stay the course and not turn back. once you have committed to give it a shot, be consistent. and the moment you most want to give up, commit to another week. and i'm so glad we have!

we have been at it for almost one week and both babies are doing super. they are identifying the sensation of needing to go and have quickly learned the routine. just today, berkley told me "TT potty" EVERY time and was accident free! davis is just behind her, beginning to tell us that he needs to go and successfully "going" on our routine visits. TMI warning: both babies have also gone number 2 which seems to be a common potty training struggle for children.

like any other skill in childhood development, learning to use the restroom takes time, practice and lots of patience...on part of the children as well as their parents :). we have a ways to go before we are fully trained but i am thrilled for the progress and so proud of our tiny tots. they really are growing up!

ps... june 23- since writing this post...berk started consistently using the restroom independently or telling us she needing to go after only 6 days! she is accident-free at nap times as well. davis went on strike for a few days but is making progress again. we'll keep at it and see what happens over the next few weeks. he is never one to be outdone by his sister for long :)

still celebrating...

we spent the babies' actual birthday at the pool with some friends. davis and berk are becoming little amphibians right before our eyes! we topped off the day with some fun at fudruckers before crashing into our beds. thanks to our friends for a spontaneous, fun ending to our celebration weekend!

... and the morning after

birthday smooches!

all in a days' work. this girl gives out sugar like it's going out of style. nothing like when they land your way.

a love letter of sorts

davis & berkley,

while we know it is unavoidable… your daddy and i mourn how quickly you are growing up. you morphed from our itty bitty wee ones to full blown toddlers in a mere blink. just recently i discovered (much to my dismay) your’ once silky soft skin had been replaced with adult-like leg hair. as much i want to believe you two will be the first to defy the hands of time, i am powerless against the clock. it just keeps ticking with no regard to my heart…and each day you grow up a bit more.

berkley… you are generous in every way. you love deeply and express tenderness in a million ways… a shy, yet flirtatious smile from across the room, gentle grazes of your hand across “bubba’s” back or face, soft kisses anywhere you can plant them. you give and you give freely. no possession is so prized that you are unwilling to share it with others. when davis is upset you are committed to comfort him…perhaps your baby doll is what he needs or maybe a paci? no? then how bout a great big-sometimes rejected- but i’ll give it anyway- berkley- hug? you have your daddy’s gift of mercy and you wear it well. i love this about you.

you are my little songbird, dancing often to the music in your heart! you love singing with mommy to Taylor Swift’s “Breath” as we drive but my favorite is watching you sing in church. the few times you’ve joined us for worship, you belt out timeless hymns with the best of em. you may not know the words, but you sing with conviction just the same. my prayer is that one day the words will have deep personal meaning for you…that your song will be to the One that so wonderfully formed you in my innermost parts.

you know you’ve always loved playtime more than nap time. you have this strange yet predictable internal clock that sets off after just one hour of sleep. i use to bemoan this fact, until i realized what a gift of time this really was. just today i was telling a friend that i treasure the hour or so we get to steal away while the rest of the house is still quiet. me and my girl, listening to birds chatter from the rocking chair on the porch, eating teddy grahams and talking like girl-friends from long ago.

berkley, your charm, determination and intelligence amaze us. tonight you insisted on having your shoes in the bed with you. when we peekend on you in sweet slumber, there they were. hot pink sandals...strapped tightly to your chubby little feet, the correct feet in fact. we didn't even know you could put on your own shoes. we laughed over your crib, imagining the time and effort you exerted at such a task. no task is too big for you. you, my love, are a treasure and i cherish our special relationship. i love you much.

davis…from the moment you wake up, you are ready for the world. you only stop moving, running, jumping or climbing to be held closely in our arms. and dare i say that you love cuddling just as much as you love adventure. mommy loves it too. in the last month you began requesting that we rock you. when you’re aiming to prolong bedtime, when you get an “ouchie” or feel scared about certain uncertainties, off to the rocker we go. though you are all legs now, you still feel like a cozy newborn melted across my chest. i could rock with you forever, if my feet didn’t fall asleep so often.

your boyish charm is irresistible. you are 110% boy. is that possible? tractors, trucks, balls and bugs are your domain and you are the King of them all. by the way, you have the sweetest lisp when you say the word “tha-ther” (tractor). a few more blinks from now, you’ll stop saying it that way so i must take note of it before my mind ages any further. as you grow older, so will my memory.

oh, and how you love your sister. you long for her to share in your enthusiasm of life. “Berk-ie, OOK!” (look), you engage her as you gently cradle a doodle bug in your tiny palm. your recent hobby is collecting the dead ones near our front door. “buggy night, night” you announce. i have found your “sleeping” friends in the car, attached to my flip flops, as well as in your bed. i might take issue with this hobby if it graduates to less appealing insects, but for now it’s quite amusing.

davis, you have the sweetest spirit. you are tenacious and determined but tender through and through. you love life and you especially love to laugh. one of the sweetest sounds i know is your giddy laughter ringing through the house. your daddy always says that you laugh with your eyes. his eyes laugh too. i love that about you both.

no one makes you laugh like your sister. just this morning i videotaped your bedroom door. no image, just darkness on the screen…but i wanted to capture the ping pong of squeals lobbing between your two cribs this birthday morn. fits of laughter, then jumping chants of “hop, hop, berk-ie!”, loud squealing, more laughter, silence- a brief pause, all followed by much more of the same.
this is what we get to wake up to each day.

and His mercies are new. again and again.
great is His faithfulness! (lamentations 3:23)
davis, i cherish you. i am so proud to be yours and berkley’s mommy.
you are the loves of our life.

berkley & davis…
oh happy, happy day, the day that you were born!
Happy 2nd Birthday!
we love you and bless the Lord for you.



here you are at the pool this evening





on your first birthday



and on the day that you were born!

our first bikes

davis discovered these bikes while playing in papa's truck. "mine, mine" he declared, as he swiftly climbed over the seat to lay hands on them. these pictures say it all! thanks for the bikes, mimi & papa.

paint party time!

yesterday was the twinks 2nd birthday party. we had a Pp Party with painting, pudding, popsicles, pools, pb&j, and plenty of fun! i wondered if davis and berkley would be overwhelmed by all the people and activity but they LOVED it. they stayed up until 8 pm running through the sprinkler and enjoying their new toys! thanks to all our family and friends who were able to make it...and thanks also to those who were here in spirit! we appreciate how much you all love our little ones.

fun in the sun

i've been out for the summer for a week and am loving every minute of it! our days have been filled with trips to the pool, splash pad or children's museum. (thanks to allison, blake & lauren for having us out to your pool!) we ended our first week of summer with the twinks 2nd birthday party yesterday. pics to come!

out of focus

and still adorable.
i took these without a flash one early morning but still love their expressions!