today is my last tomorrow

this blog post title caught your eye didn’t it?

because let’s face it, if you are like me (or the other bazillion people like us on planet earth) your mantra goes something more like this… 

i mean why do today what i can put off for tomorrow?

whose with me? 

i’m in a bible study with a few women, the kind of women that live out loud… exposing those raw, ugly places that are desperate for truth and grace. while sharing a personal struggle, friend-whose-name-i-won’t-mention said, “today is my last tomorrow.”

today is my last tomorrow.

does that hit you like it hits me?…right in the gut like the rotavirus.

it begs the question of me, “so what will you do with today?” 

because at least in my life too many tomorrows add up to mostly never and a million missed opportunities to taste abundant life and extend it to others.

i’m not talking about laundry people, for whomever would declare life in such a task. i find that no matter how many tomorrows i put it off or however swiftly i take it by storm, laundry migrates.

i am talking about the good stuff…the stuff of the heart, mind and soul. the hidden things that drive our thoughts, behaviors and relationships…both for good and for bad.

only you know what those things are for you….or maybe just like me you stuff them down, wrapping them up with the busyness of life, tying them off in a bow of denial.

so long as we present well, what does it matter if we wait until tomorrow?

it matters much.

for many years i have sensed God asking me to lay some things down.

go figure- i said no. again and again. too afraid to peel back the perfectly pressed corners of paper, exposing my tattered box of hopes deferred.

to take a good hard look is painful…the debilitating kind of pain i’m certain causes internal bleeding somewhere within me.

through a series of events He is teaching me afresh that i can trust Him with my offerings, no matter how broken their condition. i can say yes to Him today because He meets me in the deep places.

i am also learning that saying yes to Him sometimes means saying no to others.

shocking, right?

YesGirl that i am, that’s about as far as i’ve gotten with this seemingly far off, yet life shattering truth.

will let you know when i am closer to wrapping myself around it but i do know it changes things. it forces light into darkness, exposing things for what they really are, and sometimes for what they are not.

more pain

more grace

and so i declare (me, myself and i) that today is my last tomorrow

i will choose today

i will say yes to ripping off another layer, exposing the pain

to having His light so shine on me

to letting His rescue come 

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:6-9

let’s choose today together, shall we