slowly growing excited

January 12
feeling soooo much better today...i had a killer migraine yesterday which acutally made me sick. i slept better last night than i have in a long long time. amazing how i take advantage of my health when i am feeling 100%!

i have been looking on line for things to register for. we are using our smaller guest bedroom for the nursery. we mapped out a potential plan last night since i had all the measurements and it was so fun to imagine! i figure we better get going since it is flying by. it was amazing to think 2 itty bitty babies would fill the room this summer. i am getting more and more excited...still scared silly but the excitement is growing. (not sure how much i have voiced it but i have dealt with so much fear when considering 2 babies) had my first emotional breakdown 2 weeks ago thinking of how much i will miss marriage with ryan, without having babies. i just enjoy him so much and have feared that i will miss him terribly after 5 years of just the two of us. strange i know. i can imagine how i'll fall in love with him in new ways. i can already tell what a good daddy he is. he talks to the babies every night.very cute!

all to say i could list pages of fears and very few things i was looking forward to but the list seems to be balancing out now.