Friday, April 18, 2008

armfulls & handfulls

my twin-mommy friend, laura, is one of many women that i've looked to along this journey of motherhood. i always appreciate her insight & the intentionality with which she parents. she finds joy in every bit of her journey & inspires me to do the same. below is an entry from her blog that i can fully relate to.

while the girls and i were at the grocery store shopping today, i saw a couple watching us. the woman finally came up and said, "we have been watching you as you shopped around the store with both of those babies. how do you do it?" but then the kicker... she asked me, "do you really like being the mom of twins, i can't imagine, i feel sorry for you." of course, those of you who know me, know that i didn't take that comment lying down, i quickly corrected her in the error of her ways and ensured her that i loved being the mommy of twins, not to EVER feel sorry for me and how i felt blessed that God chose me.

without even blinking an eye, i can think of so many reasons that i love being a twin mommy.

1.armfuls and handfuls
every child fills their parents' hearts and home with joy. that's what i really love about having twins. the love and joy are compounded. cradling two twinfants in your arms was so incredibly, almost unbearably, sweet. holding hands with two toddlers -- one on the right, and one on the left -- while walking down the sidewalk makes me feel complete. double hugs, double kisses, mommy-in-the-middle "sandwich" cuddles on the couch... life just doesn't get any better than that.

parenting happens in stages. for me, it's much easier to manage two infants or two toddlers, than to juggle the needs of a baby and a preschooler. the phases of parenthood are experienced more intensely, sometimes, because they are simultaneous, but i love it that way.

3. shared accomplishments

it's always exciting to see your child meet a milestone. but when twins accomplish their goals simultaneously, it's a wonderful experience for a family. for example, i was bursting with pride when both preslee and mason starting walking, but the achievement was even sweeter because they were happy for each other. i love how they clap for each other!

4.private jokes
it's such fun to hear them babble to each other and play together. once when they were about 10 months old, we were driving down the road, when giggles erupted from the car seats in the back seat. as mason laughed, preslee broke out in giggles; they spurred each other on the entire ride home. what a sweet sound those baby giggles were; it is still sweet to hear them laugh together.

5.alike, but different

it's fascinating to be an observer of twins. with so many similarities, but such stark differences, it's always interesting to see how they develop as individuals. where parents of singletons may say, "oh, you are just like your sister was at that age," parents of multiples have an instant basis of comparison and contrast among their children.

6. 2-for-1 bonus
short and sweet .... one pregnancy = two babies! such a deal! although a pregnancy with multiples may have more risks, and sometimes more complications, it truly is a two-for-one deal.

7. a sense of status
okay, i admit it. i get a little thrill of pride in being a mom of twins. it's like being a part of an elite club. you feel an instant bond with other parents of multiples. i love the reaction i get when i tell people i have twins. "wow!" "i always wanted twins..." "i don't know how you do it..." it's almost like we enjoy an exclusive status in the parenting world, earning a slight nod of respect for pulling double duty.

twins share everything -- their birthday, their parents' attention, and most of their belongings. although they may get frustrated with their situation, as a parent, it's very gratifying to witness their "what's mine is yours" attitude in a moment of unselfish benevolence. preslee and mason give to each other so freely.

9. a beautiful bond

the twin bond is more enduring than any other relationship on earth, starting even before birth, and often outlasting many friendships and even marriages. despite their squabbles, it's comforting to know that they will (hopefully) enjoy their unique relationship for all of their lives. when i was pregnant, i remember dr. weitz telling us in our final ultrasound before they were born, that preslee and mason were as tight as they could be, they were cheek to cheek. as their mommy, i feel really privileged to be a party to their special bond, and to have the opportunity to nurture it.

10.confidence in companionship

i love the confidence that our girls exhibit simply because they have always had each other to rely on. i love to watch them enter new, unfamiliar situations with total confidence because they are together. i love seeing all the ways that being a twin shapes their personalities, both as an advantage and a disadvantage. they have never and will never know loneliness because they've always had and will have each other as a companion.

so, lady in the grocery store, don't feel sorry for me or any other twin mommy. we are busy, but doubly blessed and so, so happy!

1 comment:

  1. That is so beautiful--thanks for sharing!!

    (lurking from twinstuff!)


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