scattering seeds

our church hosted VBS (vacation bible school) this week, which has had me thinking…calling to mind my first memories & thoughts toward God. i remember sitting on quiet pews, the smell of incense, eyes passing over frail ribs made of bronze…who was this mysterious man of suffering? even then, He was there, captivating some small piece of my child-sized heart.  isn’t it interesting how often Jesus warns against hindering children from coming to him, for theirs is the kingdom of God.  He was not bothered by their presence, inconvenienced by their noise or activity level. He was never too busy, miracles and all, to take them in His arms & bless them. (that’s a whole other soapbox blog post).

beyond that, we are to be like them…receiving this Jesus Kingdom in simple, child-like faith.

just this week berkley was scared of the dark so i assured her that mommy & daddy would keep her safe. “and Jesus will keep me safe, mommy. I can’t see Him, but Jesus keeps me safe.”

child-like faith

if only we could shed our grown-up skin

let me stop here and say that in no way am i responsible for berkley’s heart-warming response. touched and humbled, but not responsible. what i am responsible for is scattering the seeds.

like you, i have read my share of perfect blogs, written by the perfect mother, cook, party planner, photographer, teacher, home-schooler, house-keeper, you name it. i have even pretended to be her.

the blogosphere is the perfect world of recipes & funny kid-stories. don’t get me wrong…i am not judging it, as i am an active citizen. but in no way do i want to perpetuate the fallacy. i do have a great life, but it isn’t perfect. if i were completely honest i would tell you that i yelled at my kids, was contentious with my husband & have felt a deep sense of despair…and that was all just this weekend. but what fun is it reading about the brokenness of real life? and so sometimes we pretend.

and post cute pictures.

and sometimes that’s the best we can do.

just the other day i had a great conversation with someone i deeply admire. she spoke about spiritual determinism as it relates to parenting… if we just do all the right things, then my child will (fill in the blank). today i came across this article, the myth of the perfect parent which speaks on this belief.

so, wise woman that she is, she said something… one of those things that sticks to your heart & remains, sure to be drawn out by God at some later date.

in reference to her dreams & fears concerning her children and their future she said, “the best case scenario is just as much a lie as the worst case scenario”.

it is not for us to know or determine. it is not for us to continue believing this myth of the perfect parent.

what is for us is to repent & return to His rest…

Therefore, this is what the Holy One of Israel says: "Because you have rejected this message, relied on oppression and depended on deceit,
this sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly, in an instant.
It will break in pieces like pottery, shattered so mercilessly that among its pieces not a fragment will be found for taking coals from a hearth or scooping water out of a cistern."
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” isaiah 30:12-15

what is for us is to scatter the seeds

"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown." When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." luke 8

what is for us is to live & parent by faith

child-like faith

even when we don’t know how the seeds will be received.

1 Corinthians 3:6-7  I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.