not me! monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

i did not put my cell phone in a walmart bag with left over brisket & bar-b-q sauce. the sauce certainly did not spill all over the entire contents of the bag. hours later, the phone did not begin to freak out (volume turning up & down, on or off). i would not have thought it was merely the battery & therefore plug it in to the charger. i did not smell something my phone burning and see a flame smoldering within. who catches their cell phone on fire with bar-b-q sauce? NOT me! i most certainly did not spend $150 yesterday to replace the phone while the babies ran circles around the store.

i did not stay home from work for 2 days last week because berkley had an unknown & highly contagious virus double ear infection. i did not wait 2 days to take her to the doctor because that would be negligent. in fact, i always rush to the doctor at the first sign of slight fever because i do not mind paying the $25 co-pay x 2. while home with berkley, i did not let her use washable markers all over the bathroom floor so that i could take a 10 minute shower. i would never join in the fun either, covering the tiles with colorful shapes (each of which berk can identify). i am not the proud, biased mother of two brilliant toddlers by the way.

i have not been battling mom guilt this week over things i cannot control...for example, i do not feed my children processed food such as toaster strudels, chicken fries or tombstone frozen pizzas. i only feed them fresh, organic produce and would never offer fruit cups preserved in heavy syrup as a substitute for ripe strawberries. i am not turning over a new leaf, suddenly motivated to give them summer squash or baked fish in place of corn dogs. i am sure this new motivation will not be short lived...lasting only a few meals before i cave to the call of my microwave. i am a super-mommy, not just an average mom with two toddlers on the go.
therefore, i will never again deal with "mommy guilt", since i never compare myself to the super-mommies that abound in my life. no sir-y, not me!

after publishing this post, i did not join some friends at Micky-D's to treat our kids to ice cream. i would not have purchased two separate vanilla cups only to have them drip on the floor, their clothes, my legs, in between my toes and all over my flip flops everywhere. i did not first let them walk all over the play area, ice cream in hand, only to insist that they sit down in a chair instead. davis did not have a melt down during this process, throwing himself on the floor in a fit of tears. meanwhile, i did not move berkley's chair over, unintentionally throwing her off in a nose dive toward the concrete floor, catching her by the ankle at the last possible moment and therefore avoiding a concussion. neither of my wee ones attempted to scoop up drippings from the tile with their plastic spoons... nor did either of them resemble children making snow angles on the floor of this famous fast food chain. that would be horrific and most certainly not my kids.

i'm sure you, a faithful reader, are not judging what you've read so far... so what have you been not doing, not thinking & not struggling with this week?