all family members left this week and i was terrified. it was the first time we have not had extra hands since davis and berkley arrived. thankfuly, we had a great day! this was also the first time ryan & i felt like parents, now that it's the 4 of us.
he is amazing!! and so full of strength and confidence. he loves to give me huge hugs (now that there is not a twin belly in the way) while saying "Team Poehl".
today we took the kiddos out on errands...normally we only go to dr apt. we stopped by the church since the staff was taking down stuff from VBS. berkley did GREAT! she slept in her car seat the whole 2 hours. when we got home i had to wake them up...they were KONKED out! they ate and went right back down for another nap. berkley woke up screaming after 30 minutes or so and ryan was at work so it was my first time to be at home alone with the babies. i did it! baby girl was upset but i was able to manage it by myself without feeling overwhelmed. (davis was still sleeping soundly which helped). i put her in our sling and she seemed to enjoy that for a little while, which was great. it felt so nice to gain confidence in my ability to manage her... and to not feel as intimidated by her needs.
have a few more praises...
the little ones had great sleep last night! they both slept two 3 1/2- hour stretches. it was wonderful! berkley had a hard time sleeping after the 5:30 am feed but by then we had pretty much made it through the night! it is such a blessing when she is able sleep for a few hours..and i know it helps her little body so much! she still has to fall asleep upright before we can put her down. and it has to be a SOUND sleep. she must know the sound of our heads hitting the pillow! it is the funniest thing...when she falls asleep during a feeding nothing wakes her up like putting her down in her pack in play!
final praise...my dad hired help for us! an infant specialist will be coming tomorrow night! now that we know our needs we decided to have her come in the nights for now. (she will come for 4 weeks - Monday through Thursdady night). i think that by being restored in this way, a few nights a week, will help us to handle the stress of berkley's condition. so much of my anxiety is from staying up all night with her screaming in pain... the fatigue makes the days seem harder than they probably are, if that makes sense. she will bring a baby scale and track their weights, etc. she will also weigh them before and after nursing so that we can know what they are getting. she is a certified LC. this is a HUGE blessing since i have worried about Berkley only being allowed to eat for 10 - 15 minutes at a time, how to minimize her pain after eating, etc. i cried on the phone when my dad told me that he was providing her for us. he also wants me to get someone to come for a few hours during the day so that i can rest, run errands, etc. you cannot imagine how spoiled i feel..how spoiled I AM...we are overwhelmed with gratitude. just another way the LORD has cared for us, despite my little faith.
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